Two things happened on March 22nd, 1983. The first was my birth. The second was this song that premiered on Omaha Weekly TV.
“When a naked Hannah dribbled hot sauce all over herself in front of the doctor, shit in every corner of the office, cried, became angry with the doctor, had sex with the doctor, finished her burrito, had sex with the doctor again, shit herself again, and then realized who she was really angry at and sexually attracted to was Adam, I just closed my eyes and said, ‘Thank you.’ These are real girls with real bodies doing things that real girls do.”
Jaded Russians prove unimpressed by a 10-ton meteor exploding over the country with the force of an atomic bomb.
Do you like nerds kissing? What if the nerd is kissing a pretty lady? The nerd has a skin condition.
What if we teased you with the promise of softcore pornography on our website? Would you buy more websites from us? We heard people love internet porn, so we pretend we have it, but we clearly don’t. Like, we can’t show you Danica Patrick’s vagina, but we’ll act like we can, and that her vagina is on our website. But it’s not. Her vagina is on her body, under some clothes, offline. Sorry :-(
Do you want to tweet about our nerd kiss? Use the hashtag #thekiss so we can track you and see how well our nerd kiss did with Twitter. Join the conversation! That’s something us Twitter gurus say! Haha, join the conversation! It’s not really a conversation, though. It’s just people shouting into a void.
Anyway have fun watching the Super Bowl and don’t forget to buy websites from us! You’re welcome for the nerd kiss!!!